Saturday, December 6, 2014

A Very Fine House by Barbara Cofer Stoefen

A Very Fine House by Barbara Cofer Stoefen is the story of a mother's story of love, faith, and crystal meth.  This is the story of the Stoefen family's walk down the road of addiction with their daughter.  This is the story of how parents can do the very best job they know how to raise their children to be fine and upstanding citizens of society and still have a child who becomes addicted to drugs.  The author and mother in the story tells the not so pretty tale of addiction and the life on the street that their daughter lived but then she tells the story of how that affected the family-mom, dad, and the kids who follow the rules.  How do you show love to the child you have lost to street drugs and still teach the remaining child that he must follow the rules?  What do you pray for when it seems that your daughter is determined to live opposing God's will?  How much do you spend on a child who appears to just throw it all away when the child who is doing most things right has needs also?  Is it something that I did wrong as a mother or father or something that I didn't do?  Is she just a "bad seed"?  All of these questions and more are answered but the author does not say that she has all the answers--only reports what they did and what didn't work and finally what did.  Though this book is told through the mother's eyes  also through conversations tells about what the addict and the rest of the family feels like during this ordeal.  It is not a pretty picture but it is a revealing look into addiction.

I liked this book though I didn't have to deal with this issue with my children.  It is an issue that touched my family though my children's friends and of course others in my wider family as I am sure unless the reader has their head in the sand it does all families.  This book opened my mind to some of the truths regarding addiction that I had no idea.  How do you love a child who broke into your house and robbed you of your prized possessions.  How can a child figure our how to break into your house after you have changed all the locks but still not figure out how to use society's tools to break free of addiction?  This book does not pretend to answer all your questions but it does have a list in the back of further reading to assist that parent who is going through this with their family.  It is a good book to read if you are like me and have been blessed with drug free children but have friends going through this so that you can be a good support person for them.  It is a book we all need to read as drug use and misuse is becoming more widespread through the country.  It would be a good conversation starter as your child grows toward their teen years.
I received this book from Booklook for this review.

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